An all too common character is Obnoxious Guy. Obnoxious Guy gets his name for two main reasons: content, and volume. Let me explain.While I was busy studying away one morning last week I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation happening on the next table over. I couldn’t help but overhear because this guy was talking quite loud. I understand that I wasn’t in the library and can’t expect everyone to whisper all the time, but sometimes I really wish people had a mute button. He was explaining to his friend sitting next to him what he thought were the intricacies of the “BCS” system. He was trying to explain how only certain conferences were involved, how much money they paid out, and how the teams were selected. “They average three computer simulations, the AP poll, and the coaches’ poll,” he explained. At this point I decided to interject. Not only to correct his misinformation, but to let him know that not only were he and his friend participating in this conversation, but everyone in the nearby vicinity was also being included against their free agency due to the excessive volume of his voice. “The AP poll isn’t factored into the BCS ranking,” I corrected. He looked at me with a surprised look on his face. I don’t know if he was surprised by the fact that he was wrong or because I was making my involvement in this discourse known. “The AP isn’t factored in, but the coaches’ poll is,” I repeated. “So is the Harris poll,” chimed in another unwitting participant sitting down the table from me. Recognizing that his conversation was less private than he had previously assumed, he either continued in more properly controlled volume or began doing his homework, either way the Step Down was relieved of his uninformed distractions.
Later that same day I was once again minding my business and quietly working on my homework when I found myself seated across the table form our next character: Nerd Guy. Nerd Guy is probably the most populous of all the characters in the Step Down as is evidenced by the fact that in front of me were two guys who, as I would guess just by looking at them, were freshman and didn’t have the strength to lift anything heavier than their TI-89 Titaniums. They caught my attention when they started mocking one of the homework questions in their electrical engineering textbook. I’m not sure why they thought this particular question was so ridiculous, but that’s not what I found so amusing. No sooner had they each verified that the question was a waste of time, but they both started giving possible answers. They spent ten minutes proposing possible unconventional methods/devices to measure air temperature (answering the aforementioned homework question that was a waste of time). This experience reaffirmed the old saying, “You can take the nerd out of the computer lab, but he’s still a nerd.”
That same afternoon I had an encounter with another character. Hopeless yet Persistent Guy is someone that we all seem to root for despite the fact that we know that he just doesn’t stand a chance. I caught the tail end of a phone conversation between this character and a member of the fairer sex. Just as he was stepping down into the lounge he wrapped up the conversation with “Well, if you do get some free time and would like to go out, just give me a call,” and the conversation was over. This guy just got what is called “The Runaround.” This guy had probably spent the entire Christmas break working up the nerve to call one of his old FHE sisters. He had no doubt received much encouragement from friends and plenty of positive reinforcement from his mother before utilizing either his ward directory or BYU’s “Stalker Net,” only for her to tell him that she just happens to have plans this weekend, and every other weekend for the foreseeable future. For you single girls, if you ever find yourself on the receiving end of one of these phone calls, a straightforward “No thanks,” and a simple explanation that you’re just not interested will save everyone involved a lot of wasted effort.
